A friend of mine at work has been trying really hard to lose weight. So far she has dropped about 25lbs mainly just by starting to exercise regularly.
Friday last week she was in my office talking about wanting to join Weight Watchers to lose the last 20lbs. She wanted someone to do the program with and since she had heard me talking about wanting to lose some weight too she asked me to do it with her. So on Friday we both signed up. I honestly didn't even really look at it much until Tuesday after the long weekend.
I put in my height and weight and I am in the "healthy" weight range for my height, but I am pushing towards the top of the range. I would ideally like to be closer to the bottom. I made my goal to lose 20lbs. Realistically I think I will be happy if I can just lose about 15.
I want to explain WHY I personally decided to join. At first I wasn't going to post about this but I seem to be getting a lot of questions when I tell people I joined WW. Even my mom and Vince questioned me when I told them. I know I don't need to lose weight, but the thing is I want to. And if I am going to do it I figured I should make sure I do it in a healthy way.
The reason I want to lose the weight is more of self confidence issue rather than a number on the scale.
After Kaylee was born I struggled.
It's taken me awhile to be able to admit that and say those words out loud. I got pretty depressed for awhile. You may have noticed I completely stopped blogging the first few months and that's why.
Around 6 weeks after I had Kaylee my Doctor diagnosed me with severe PPD. I honestly do not think that I was "severe", but I was depressed. I literally did not talk to anyone but Vince about it. Not my best friends or even my mom. I kind of shut the world out for awhile. I was embarrassed and it was a really hard thing for me to admit I was going through.
It really had nothing to do with Kaylee, I love being a mom more than anything. It had more to do with other things going on at the time. I don't want to go into the details about it, at least not right now. But about the time Kaylee was 4 months old I started to feel a lot better and by the time she was 5 months old I was able to talk to my friends about it some. I had a pretty long conversation with 2 of my best friends from college while they were visiting one weekend. About a week later one of the girls sent me a book she found about PPD.
It may sound funny, but it was the book Kendra Wilkinson wrote after she had her son. I never would have thought to read her story, but it really did help. She wrote a lot about how she struggled with PPD afterwards and a lot of what she said hit home. One way that she was able to get back to feeling like her normal self was through diet and exercise. She wanted to get her self confidence back. And that's where I'm at now.
I feel happy and healthy, but I am still missing something. I want to have a positive self image again.
So without dragging this post out anymore than I already have, that's why I joined Weight Watchers. To work on myself. To be able to feel confident when I look in the mirror again.
I have no idea how much of a challenge it's going to be to lose the weight, but I know that I am ready to try.
7 comments:
I'm proud of you for doing something positive to make yourself feel better. Too many people are unhappy about something but don't change things. So, kudos to you!
XOXO
I love your honesty about this, Jenna. I'm sorry you went through a rough time with PPD but I'm glad you are honest and recognize what you want to work on to feel better about yourself! If you have any WW questions, feel free to ask :) Good luck, girl! You can do it!
The PPD thing is so real and so prevalent in soooo many women. I could probably direct you to a dozen bloggers who write very openly about their struggles with it. It's amazing the feeling of tracking your food and knowing what you put in your mouth can actually help you feel more comfortable and in control. So long as it doesn't become unhealthy, I'm all for it. I don't really think you have much weight to lose and those charts can be BS sometimes. I'm on the very high side still, and its annoying, but I'm comfortable. If you need any help you know I'm here. I think we should get together sometime!
Such an honest post, Jenna. BEST of luck to you feeling better and getting healthy in so many different ways!!
I'm so proud of you! Your honesty is the reason I absolutely love having you as a friend:o) I'll be here for you whenever you need me!
Jenna, this was such a great and very real post. Even though I have not had a baby yet, PPD is something I fear I will suffer from. It is so good that you reached out for help and even read Kendra’s book. Research is essential! I think it’s awesome that you feel that her book and other outlets helped. Also, I can’t believe you joined WW-I just did as well! I am also in the “normal” range for my weight, but want to be on the lower end too! We will have to chat more about this<3
great honest post jenna! i had such fears about ppd when i got pregnant because i've had my own battles with depression in the past. i'm glad you are feeling better, i've done ww in the past & lost weight, good luck! i don't know if you're into greek yogurt, but i snack on the fat free gy all the time. i'm addicted.
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