Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Chili Dogs

7 years ago today my father passed away. He was diagnosed with cancer on my 17th birthday and died 6 months and 5 days later. My parents have been divorced since I was just a baby and both were remarried, so I have always lived with my mom and step dad (who I call dad because he was the one who really raised me). We all used to live in Florida, but I moved a lot as I was growing up because of my step dad's job. My father always stayed in Florida and so I spent a lot of summers and holidays visiting. Our relationship was not perfect and the distance didn't help, but he was my father who I loved and no matter what I always missed him when I was away. I was beyond devastated when he got sick. I was going back and forth to Florida almost every other week those 6 months to be there for him as much as I could. Even though I regret some of the things that happened years before he got sick, I am so grateful that I was able to be there then and we were given that chance to work through everything. My dad's passing is not something that is easy for me to talk about, even with my husband, but not a day goes by where I don't think about him. While this time of year always reminds me of how hard it was losing him that Christmas, it also always makes me think of all the good memories we shared during the holidays and all throughout the years.


(the last Christmas I had with my dad)

When my dad was going through chemo he was sick a lot and became really picky about what he would eat. There were really only 2 things that he ever wanted to eat. One of those was food from a local Japanese steakhouse, once he got too sick to go out they even gave my step mom the recipes so she could make some of it at home for him. The second was chili dogs. Specifically with my mom's chili. He called one night begging for her recipe for the chili because he couldn't find anything else he liked as much. (I have to admit it is really good) I cannot eat a chili dog without smiling and thinking about him. So tonight I will be making chili dogs and thinking about my dad. <3





6 comments:

Carrie said...

I am so sorry you lost your father at such a young age. That's good you were able to spend time with him before he passed and that you have good memories of your dad like eating chili dogs.

Jamie said...

I think it's really brave of you to share this, it must be really hard. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through all that, especially around Christmas, but I'm glad you were able to come out of it with good memories of your dad.

angela.kolachny said...

love ya girl, I'll never forget when we found out that sad news<3 you and your dad are in my heart today, thinking of you<3 xoxo

on a happy note, that sounds very yummy, enjoy:o)

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

Jenna, you're such a strong lady--and what a nice, simple way to commemorate your day (by eating a chili dog). Honestly.

I honestly remember your dads passing too because we were in art class together that year and you were flying back and forth often.

Enjoy our chili dog tonight and all the happy times you had together!

holly-lynn said...

this is such a great post jenna. i don't know if you remember writing me an e-mail when my step-mom was sick in school & you told me to take as much time off from the sorority as needed. it was such a sweet e-mail & so appreciated coming from someone who had experienced a similar situation. i hope you enjoy your chili dogs! <3

Madeleine said...

awww Jenna, i love this post. lots of prayers went your way yesterday - could've sworn i commented...but i guess not?

What a nice way to remember him, with something simple and delicious. I hope you and Vince (and maybe Ty) enjoyed the chili dogs last night! :) when loved ones pass away, the memories we have with them mean more than ever, and i really like this one.